Friday, November 8, 2013

This Post is Rated PG 13.

What's up homefries?!

Alright so this is my 8th post and I've been having a ton of fun writing this so far and with the holiday season fast approaching, material is probably going to get interesting (as if it wasn't already). That being said, I'm looking for some feedback. I can see how many people read the posts on a dashboard on the site I post the blog on. I'm looking more for like: What you like about the style of writing, what you want more of, less of, just a general feeling of how the posts have been. I was like this in school too. Feedback has always been something I appreciate. The blog is a great way for me to escape my stress. Not to toot my own horn but I have made myself laugh writing it even while I was actually in a really pissed off mood. I know most of you read this from facebook so message me or leave a comment on the link if you wish, or just sit back on the couch, at your desk or hey maybe you're on the toilet, read and enjoy!

This post is a little long, but it's because I had to go into some detail, and I admit, some of the 'funnies' in this write up are "had to be there" moments, but hang in there, the holidays with extra family time are making their way into the household. So stick it out for a boring post, and I promise the best is yet to come.

After Halloween, Travis, his GF Catrina and I really started to form a bond. That is what the basis of this blog is anyways...bonding with the Fam. Anyways, I have a thing for watching scary movies even though I lose tons and tons of sleep because I'm such a big baby and I scare very easily. So I started watching Paranormal Activity 3. By myself in the living room. This is the typical reaction I get: "Those movies aren't even scary...they're unrealistic blah blah blah. BULL. SH*T. I will have you know, I was looking this stuff up and Katie Featherston is one of the top Katies on google.

For those who don't know the series is about a girl haunted by a demon for her whole life and then is possessed by the demon in early-middle adulthood, kills her boyfriend abducts her nephew and whatnot. The third movie, the one I was watching that night was a flashback in which it shows Katie and he sister at elementary ages where they first encounter this demon. Or at the time, it was their imaginary friend- Toby. So Travis and Catrina get home halfway through the movie and Travis goes outside. I was sitting on the couch in front of a large window that looks out the front yard I know my brother. So I said alright I'm going to cut his fun out right now and not give him a chance to scare me so I'll go in the kitchen, Smart idea Brianna. So I'm in the kitchen with my Catrina and my nephew Cameron. Surprise, there are also windows in the kitchen. Travis cut out, my cut out of his fun and crept up to the kitchen window and jumped up on it yelling. needless to say, my yellow underwear turned a dark shade of brown in the back. I jumped so high I almost hit my head on the ceiling and turns out I was not as smart as I thought. I made Travis and Catrina watch the rest of the movie with me. She loves scary movies and I wasn't so keen on being alone. Travis used to be one of those people that said they were stupid movies and whatnot. Well we got watching it, and it starts getting to the intense part where the real scary stuff starts happening. Travis gets more and more nervous and then there's a part where the main guy opens  door and there is a group of possessed women, and at that moment I watched my brother go from badass not scared of anything, to cry baby sitting between his sister and girlfriend on the couch. The movie ends obviously in death for a couple characters and Travis could not be quicker to shut the TV off. So we plan on watching a happy movie to get the creepiness out of our minds, we went to get pizza and then came back home to watch the Hangover III. As Travis goes to put it in the DVD player, he opens the case only to find the movie is not in the case and he left it at someone's house....now what....well Catrina just bought the Conjuring.. we could watch that...
ADVISORY: DO NOT google image the conjuring....I just shipped my pants in the SMCC library re-seeing some of the images that I saw while watching it, and saw some things that I didn't want to see, and hadn't seen because I was covering my eyes at that point in the movie. I was going to put one of them on here but considering I don't know the ages, or scare tolerance of the audience reading this, I'll keep them off the blog...but I mean it's not because I'm scared to look at them long enough to right click save, left click download, go to images which already has a picture of katie featherston and then click it again and have it pop up in a very large format on the blog and then resize it. It's not that at all.....just looking out for you guys ;) 
So we start watching this movie...This post really will not do any justice to how scary we found it. There is a theme in the movie where the children of the family play a blindfolded version of hide and seek, and to help the seeker you have to clap twice to hint at where you might be hiding. 
BREAKDOWN: "clap!" *clap clap*  Got it? good. Well as the movie progresses, one of the ghosts/demons whatever they are lures the mother to this creepy closet by clapping twice and then sh*t goes down. And so, Like one of Pavlov's dogs, claps have conditioned me to pee my pants in fear. After the movie, (it's about 1AM at this point) everyone goes to bed. terrified, but we go. 
So my bedroom is in the basement, I was already in tears for the trauma that this movie caused me. Travis and Catrina slept in the living room part of the basement. As the lights were off in the basement, in my bedroom and all was quiet, I hear *CLAP CLAP* from the basement area. (Children under the age of 18 cover your eyes, and don't read, or if it's being read to you cover your ears, this next paragraph is rated R for..) 
"TRAVIS R YOU REALLY THAT MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE SHUT THE FUCK UP DON'T FUCKING CLAP AGAIN"
The response I got?: Sorry...I thought we had the clapper light. 
Also guess who woke up at 3:07 that night? THIS GIRL! woo woo! (for those who don't know, demonologists have stated the 3:07 is the hour at which most demons are active as it mocks the Catholics. It is also portrayed and explained in the movie as all the clocks in the house stop at 3:07 and bam. more shit goes down. PS I'm googling all these pictures and demonolgy stuff for you guys and I have to say I am not coping well...when I say I scare easily, I mean I really scare easily and google just does not give a hoot about how scary the pictures are.... ANYWAYS I woke up at 3:07, screamed a little, cried a little and fell back asleep. So all weekend was about pranking each other for my brother and I. I got home from work late one night and he was sitting on the couch in front of the window and so I knew my moment had come. I press my face against the window, make a creepy smiley face a mere couple inches from the back of his head and I gently tap the window. I wish I recorded the sound of what his scream sounded like. It was like a whale with a high pitched tone turned a corner and saw a big scary shark about to eat it (calm down marine biologsts. I know whales are bigger, a lot bigger and I'm sure there are other sciency things in which that wouldn't happen but now we're off topic thanks a lot..) Anyways he jumped off the couch and I was so happy I finally got my revenge. I went upstairs and there was my mom, who heard the whole thing, waiting for me with her hand already raised for a high five. I'd done good. I had gone to bed and later on Travis went downstairs to head to bed. I spent all night warning him not to do anything to scare me. I was very on edge and kinda uncomfortable. I hate being scared, why I still watch these movies I don't know... SO he's downstairs and I'm almost asleep. and what do I hear but 2 faint claps. I jump out of bed fling open my bedroom door and just ream. him. out. With a confused look on his face he's like uhhh are you kidding me.. "NO. are YOU kidding me, I'm not kidding, grow up I'm already scared enough.." "Brianna...I closed a DVD case..." you know how it has like 2 closing spots on the side...yeah...I just flipped out on my brother for closing a DVD case.. I told you I was a little on edge..So those scares stopped, but I was curious about Paranormal Activity 4...I hadn't seen it yet..So I waited for a Sunny day, both my parents were home and at about 12:30 in the afternoon I thought it was a darn safe time to watch it! As I watched it.. I got into my head that the Conjuring was so scary, that Katie Featherson doesn't even phase me anymore. I was so confidant, that I told my mom! I watched every scary part, and dumb bitch wasn't even in the movie! fabulous! and then...
She returns, and my cholesterol levels go through the roof. Ok, still not too scary, she's just a girl. I mean sure she stands there with a creepy look on her face and she talks like a creep throughout the whole movie, but hey I can get over it. wrong. the end of the movie comes, and I sat on the couch cuddling my dog, and cat and avoiding looking at the TV screen as her face gets all messed up, the women from the 3rd movie that scared Travis came back, and she lunges at the screen with a hiss and the movie ends. Cue another change of underwear for Brianna. We all do that thing when we're scared where we have to watch something happy and funny. I think only 1% of the world can watch a scary movie, and then go to bed unscathed. 

What better way to fix all of this than America's favorite comedies. The Big Bang Theory, and Friends. Well those are Brianna's favorites anyways. Incase this may have sparked some fear in you, let's visit some of Sheldon Cooper's finest moments, and some good times from apartment #20 above Central Perk. 






Let's move onto Tuesday, I woke up and threw on my cranky pants. I woke up late, as I had to drive dad to the airport and when Brianna wakes up late...you just don't even want to know.(IN MY DEFENSE, I didn't know what time dad was planning on leaving the house) It's like no matter what you do, it's wrong. I can laugh at it now, but my poor family...When someone is running late my parents usually will slow you down and ask what they can help you with. Dad, being the loving father he is went to pour the coffee for me.
-Normal reaction: awwhh how nice thanks dad!
-Brianna Tuesday morning reaction: .......That's not in my favorite travel mug....
Yup. I was THAT asshole demon child that took the mug, dumped it into the mug I wanted and chucked the one my dad originally poured it in, in the sink. As he stood there with a look on his face like... "hell no this is not the child I created.."
So dad and I get into the car and usually these early morning airport drives consists of baseball conversations, football conversations, how much A-rod sucks, work ethic, school, etc. Do you think there was even a word spoken on this trip? well there was, but it went like this:
"You need to be in that lane to get to the airport...."
"Fine." *swerved in such a way you could see my attitude in the headlights.
So I'm convinced I have a split personality because I look back on that and think "oh crap I reeeeeally hope I do not have a daughter just like me.."
So I got to school early because of the airport trip but I don't mind having extra time before class, good time to do homework. So I head to the SMCC library which in my opinion, studying at chuck E cheese would be more productive...in my few months there, I have grown to hate that library. more like the students that hang out there, but that's a story for another time.
I find a nice corner by the window to study at, only to find that I left my textbooks at home in all the mess....perfect..and so, I spent A solid hour at least on pinterest...then, when it was time I let my eyes adjust, went to my first class and my mood had picked up a little bit. Back to the library I went for my break until my next class...and another 2 hours on pinterest....I will never forget my books again...
I get home that night and this conversation happened at the dinner table:
Annika: "Did you get anymore rubber bands?"   (There is a new phase going on with kids that make this bracelets out of rubber bands
Mom: "Do you have any idea how many of those I have pulled out of the dryer?"
Me: "I found a lego in the dryer the other day"   *cue guilty look from chandler*
Mom: "....I found a tooth in the dryer..." 
Oh do your kids lose teeth and put them in like an envelope or something and hold on until they put it under their pillow at night? Not the Johnstons. If someone loses a tooth in this house there is no telling where it might go before it goes under the pillow. Clearly non-chalant Chandler just casually keeps his teeth that he loses in his pockets. 
In other news, Mom thought she would get the dog a new toy. most dogs like sqweeky toys, or bones or other toys designated for dogs. Not Lily. she's more of a stuffed animal chewer, so what does mom buy? a cute little happy looking bear from the dollar store. I protested. The bear looked so happy! however, Lily has refrained from chewing it and instead treats it like a baby...I pretended to steal it from her this morning and instead of ripping it out of my hands like she would with any other toy, she say with a worried look, and then gently tried to take it back. The rest of the morning, she's looked like this: 



So that's the week's report on the Johnston household, Like I said I hope some crazy holiday stuff starts happening so I can have you rofl-ing while reading. Again, any feedback is good and appreciated, and I am now on the prowl for material for next week! 



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