I'm here to make your Monday suck a little less.

I'm going to start off really blunt.

I hit my brother in the balls with a nerf weapon...

Did that reel you in?
Let me set the scene . It's Super bowl Sunday, Chandler's birthday. The house was packed with family, food, sugar, beer. It was an event. So much of an event that all 6 of my siblings were there. The Super Seven all at Johnston headquarters at the same time. The cool thing about my family is that we are all very different. Our personalities are unique, but similar. Does that make sense? Of course not, because it came out of a Johnston mouth. Basically, we have a good mix of personalities, that can either clash, or piece together like a puzzle.....That's the best description you're going to get by the way I really am struggling putting it into words..
Anyways, Elder brother, Travis and I are compatible when it comes to pranking, or just being a pest to the other. One of us craves getting the 'last word' well on February 2nd, I totally had it in the bag. For a little bit anyways..Here's the story.
Travis was chucking pretzels at me. I was being an innocent angel, and he was using snacks to get my annoyance up. I'm never one to back down from a challenge. I'm not mature enough to just ignore it. besides, maturity is boring. For Christmas, I got a nerf bow and arrow. Something to emphasize my hunger games fandom. I'm seriously the next Katniss, but that's a story for a different time. So I go and grab this:

And I sneak up the stairs with my game face on.....

And I turn the corner, and set aim. Now, what happens next, is NOT MY FAULT. Travis is taller than the rest of us. I'm shorter than most of us. My aim, was NOT where it hit. I pulled the arrow back and 'let it fly' like I heard president Snow say to do. 

In an attempt to dodge, Travis jumped, and the arrow drilled his downstairs danglers.

I made a 34 year old man fall to the ground, and tear up. Now let's look at the force of these things....Keep in mind I was only a few feet away...

The weapon itself looks small, but it's forceful. I tried to upload a video of it hitting the wall so you could hear its impact but technology is not cooperating today. So he was on the ground and so we called it even....Ok I called it even. I held onto my Ball Bashing Bow in fear that he would be looking for revenge. Well, I looked away from one minute and next thing I know, everyone around the table is silent. I look up and Travis is aiming right at me. I run for the kitchen which really just made me a bigger target. I'm really dumb when it comes to these things so don't judge my abilities when it comes to survival. In a matter of seconds, the roles were reversed and the arrow was speeding at MY baby maker. In all the excitement all I could muster was "HE HIT MY TWAT!!"
Turns out, my whole family cringes at the word 'twat' ...kind like most people (myself included) don't like the word moist..ugh I shuttered just typing it.
So by now, both of our 'sensitive areas' had been bruised and what is supposed to be a toy for little kids, now has a warning label on it at our house- No aiming for private parts.


A couple days later, I went to the gym and was working hard. I was feeling a good workout for that day. I step onto the treadmill ready to power out 3 miles worth of running. When I got a text message...the conversation went like this...

So instead of 3 miles, I ran one, called it good and headed for the landshark.
Us siblings don't usually propose one on one time. We're a close family, but we don't usually just ask one to hang out. So I thought it was nice, and cool and he offered our family choice in beer so how could I pass it up?
So I get to his house and he starts complaining that he hasn't made it into my family famous blog. What my family doesn't realize, is that you need to do something exciting, say something funny, basically do something that strangers would want to read about. Even if it's embarrassing. My mom is usually top notch in the funny department, but most of the conversations we have end with "And this DOES NOT go in your blog, do you understand me?!"
But my mom is a funny lady, so this is her understated credit.
Back to Beer talks with Big Brother- We start talking about life and catching up about what we want our futures to look like with school and such and I started talking about my writing and how I really want to go somewhere with it while I wait for my nursing classes to start. He got very intriguing, and I'm telling you, if you are ever feeling like you're stuck, or you're not sure what to do with you're life or you're feeling like giving up, go have beer with my brother, Andrew. You'll get your shit together. So we make this big plan for me that I really am going to pursue some writing stuff. He says "Turn an I COULD have, into an I DID." That's an Andrew J original. So I'll make a career out of it, and I'll get my name out. I will start a scholarship fund for KFC employees that work there through their college years. You know, fast food employees aren't always there because it's their only option, and they are stuck there. I want to make a public service announcement right now, that sometimes that drive thru worker that you call stupid, and can't handle a real job, might be working there, as well as 3 other jobs to save up for medical school and will be a brain surgeon one day. So think about that.  

The scholarship would go to kids like that, because I know that feeling. I won't be a brain surgeon, but you get the picture. We make this big plan and he comes up with the title "Colonels to Generals." Clever eh? So look for it, coming a few years down the road. We discuss how I want to go to LA at some point and talk to movie directors and producers on how to get into the business with my focus being in writing. He said that if I have the confidence, and I believe in myself, then that's when I go out and get what I want. "Once you get your confidence, you get your balls" Another gem said by him. So it was great to hang out with my brother since I see a lot of similarities between the two of us not only looks wise, but personality wise. So there you made it into the effin blog Andrew! but for real, I didn't put it in just because he asked. It was really a cool night at the dining room table, surrounded by landsharks.

Sibling bonding struck again when I was getting through a long shift at work and My older sister, Allison texted me asking if I wanted to spend my day off in Boston celebrating Chinese New Year. Well what doesn't sound fun about that? we discuss taking the train which I assumed to be early, like leave the house by 8 early, but she proves me wrong being the ambitious one that she is with "Ok train leaves Portland at 5:30 in the morning, we'll get to Boston by 8." Well shit. I knew the 4 AM alarm would be tough, but the next 15 hours would be worth it. We took subways to a cute little bagel shop, the freedom trail, Harvard, and then to Chinatown. It was pretty cool seeing all the culture packed into the streets

And then we finished the trip with some drinks at a bar that only Allison could find.
It was a long day but it was nice to get out of Maine for a bit. Now Andrew and I might be similar, but Allison and I are very different which can make for a very interesting mix. As you can tell from the 5:30 train, opposing the 8 AM train, our travelling style is different. She said it best on the way to the train "You've never traveled with me have you....?" Allison is very 'let's get our charlie tickets and hop on the subway and see where we get'  I use the subways by myself in the summer when I travel to see a friend from school and PERSONALLY I'm very precise with my traveling...-this is what time the train arrives, this is the subway I take to this exact location, I catch this train here blah blah blah. Plus, Allison runs up stairs. EVERY stair case we reached. I felt like a 90 year old getting to the top of a stair case of a subway terminal 5 minutes after she already reached the top. So there is traveling, but then there is traveling with Allison. Totally different ball game. But still fun to say the least, and I'm really glad I went despite previous plans to sleep in and watch movies on my day off.

So this blog pretty much sums up that I love my family to pieces.  Again I can't really put it to words. I try not to get cheesy all over the posts, but getting texts or phonecalls from them asking to hangout makes me the happiest. *Travis also called me this week asking if I wanted to go with a Red Claws game but I had to work so that plan didn't go through but the thought was there!
Although now I wonder i they really want to hang out with me or if they just want to get into the blog...I'm onto you guys... Just kidding, can't wait to share more family moments in the future! If you have siblings, or cousins, or just family members that you've never really hung out one on one with, GO DO IT. NOW.


Behind the Scenes of the Blog: When I was talking to Andrew about writing, I was explaining how I write this blog. You may notice some typos, grammatical errors or whatnot from time to time. That's because I don't edit the blog when I'm done. My writing style is very different. I type what I'm saying in my head. Like..I type how I would talk if I was saying all of this to someone out loud and sometimes I get so excited for a post or story that I just type like a lunatic and laugh at my own things and I can't wait to get done with a post but it's not because I get bored while typing, it's because I can't wait for people to see it. I know some people specifically that read the blog and say they laugh and it makes me happy writing something and saying in my head 'Oh man, I can't wait to hear what Melissa says about this one!' and so on. So that's what goes into the writing!

Tune in next time for another episode of Life in the Middle!