Their voices make me want to go all Van Gough on my ear. But that's enough on that subject, I was merely trying to get the point across that my family would make for great reality TV.
Let's start off this Johnston update from the middle child perspective with a round of applause for the middle school production of Aladdin. The Johnston's own child #6 (that's number 6, not hashtag 6) She was part of the ensemble. She danced and sang with the rest and they all looked absolutely fantastic. Everyone goes through an awkward stage in middle school. And if you claim that you didn't, I don't trust you. These kids though....They were fantastic.
In other news, it's cold outside. In case you didn't know that already. What's more annoying though? people complaining about the cold, or people freaking a shit about global warming. "It's happening, it's not happening, we're to blame, blah blah blah it's Obama's fault." Shut. the F. up. Yeah we can go green but unless you're the green giant, calm your tits, or your junk or however you want to say the phrase, and get over it until June. Embrace the extra cuddles you get from your loved one, or if you're single like myself, cuddle with your dog and sleep with a heating pad. And also, find away to laugh about it.
Let's shift gears to parenting. My parents are great. Hands down. They are the cliche, prime example of those parents you see on sitcoms. (Jennifer Lawrence tid bit time) look at the Bill Engvall show where America's sweet heart started her career. Most of the time, her character looked at her parents like this.
Like today for example. My mom and I have been taking my car on shopping trips because the heat isn't working in our classic family mini van. It has a remote for unlocking the doors. I explain to my mom to press the unlock button twice. She examines the remote and pushes what she thinks is the correct button..Well that button was the alarm button...but hey! we made it in the car eventually. Steve's turn! I was talking to my parents about twitter and how weird some of things people post are and my dad, who works with computers as a living, but isn't quite caught up with the lingo, and social media hype. responds with "You have to be careful what you post on that tweeter website..." ..yeah will do dad. Oh well. It's still better than the time he asked what twerking was...........................................J-Law, take it away.....
Chandler, your thoughts?
I kind of wish Jimmy Fallon did a segment titled "Twerking with Parents" where parents try to understand twerking, or their faces when their kids explain it. Send in your home videos and America will vote for the best awkward parent moment.
My mom, like most moms is my biggest fan. I might never get to write comedy movies, or have a great book, or work with Jennifer Lawrence or Leonardo DiCaprio despite all of that being my ultimate dream. BUT my mom loves my work and that's all that matters. I say what comes to my head and sometimes it leads to bursts of laughter from mom in public. So we're in target today and I went into the bathroom. Public bathrooms by the way, have magic mirrors. they show EVERY flaw on your face. I'm too lazy to wear make up every day. sorry, not sorry. I'm confident enough with my face that I don't always need to cover everything just to run a few errands. Confidence is sexy ladies. And it's cheaper... anyways, so I noticed that I'm due for a spa day per say...I need some facial peach fuzz removed. I don't even care that I'm putting this on the interweb. You can say it's gross and whatnot but on the today show, Brooke Shields even said she maintains it too. ANYWAYS. The way I described it to my mom is that I feel like my sub-nasal region is starting to look like a Mexican pornstar's crustache. No need to worry though fellas. Every girl gets it. The lighting in Target just made mine prominent enough for me to realize that I probably shouldn't be allowed any playgrounds or little kids for that matter until I get on that.........Sometimes I wonder why I'm single and then I remember that I share things like this.....
We move on to Wal Mart. First off. If your kids are misbehaved. Don't bring them to wal mart. Second, if you feed your kids junk, and then take them shopping. don't be surprised that they are mis behaving! Your cart is filled with enough sugar filled substances to kill an oompa loompa and your kids are bouncing off the walls and you wonder why? I'm not even going to talk about the way people dress at wal mart, there is a whole website for that.
We were looking for things for Child #7's birthday which is on Sunday. We had passed a few pinatas throughout the day, and my mom was debating on getting one with each one we passed along our adventure. "How much is that on?" thinks about, and then moves on with a 'maybe' face on. then I found this adorable photobooth kit. it had Big smiley face masks, and glasses, and goofy things to put on for like an old school photo booth. "Awwwh look we could get a photo booth for the party"
To this, my mom looks utterly weirded out. "Why?" she says looking at it like it's the dullest thing on the planet. Naturally I responded in Brianna Fashion"You think that's weird and annoying but you want to get them something to beat the shit out of and watch candy fall out its ass?"
I though mom was going to pee her pants.
*Sidenote: if reading any of this DID make you pee your pants...
This was a short write up but hey I'm doing the best I can. Chandler's birthday AND the superbowl are on Sunday so I'm sure I will have some pictures and stories to share. stay tuned for more Johnston excitement from the middle child view point, and be sure to follow me on 'tweeter' Briannajohns2 and instagram bjohnston2 and be sure to go back and read the 'Pursuit of Happiness' blog post from a couple weeks ago if the winter blues is still getting you. Stay happy, stay healthy!
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