I'm here to make your Monday suck a little less.

I'm going to start off really blunt.

I hit my brother in the balls with a nerf weapon...

Did that reel you in?
Let me set the scene . It's Super bowl Sunday, Chandler's birthday. The house was packed with family, food, sugar, beer. It was an event. So much of an event that all 6 of my siblings were there. The Super Seven all at Johnston headquarters at the same time. The cool thing about my family is that we are all very different. Our personalities are unique, but similar. Does that make sense? Of course not, because it came out of a Johnston mouth. Basically, we have a good mix of personalities, that can either clash, or piece together like a puzzle.....That's the best description you're going to get by the way I really am struggling putting it into words..
Anyways, Elder brother, Travis and I are compatible when it comes to pranking, or just being a pest to the other. One of us craves getting the 'last word' well on February 2nd, I totally had it in the bag. For a little bit anyways..Here's the story.
Travis was chucking pretzels at me. I was being an innocent angel, and he was using snacks to get my annoyance up. I'm never one to back down from a challenge. I'm not mature enough to just ignore it. besides, maturity is boring. For Christmas, I got a nerf bow and arrow. Something to emphasize my hunger games fandom. I'm seriously the next Katniss, but that's a story for a different time. So I go and grab this:

And I sneak up the stairs with my game face on.....

And I turn the corner, and set aim. Now, what happens next, is NOT MY FAULT. Travis is taller than the rest of us. I'm shorter than most of us. My aim, was NOT where it hit. I pulled the arrow back and 'let it fly' like I heard president Snow say to do. 

In an attempt to dodge, Travis jumped, and the arrow drilled his downstairs danglers.

I made a 34 year old man fall to the ground, and tear up. Now let's look at the force of these things....Keep in mind I was only a few feet away...

The weapon itself looks small, but it's forceful. I tried to upload a video of it hitting the wall so you could hear its impact but technology is not cooperating today. So he was on the ground and so we called it even....Ok I called it even. I held onto my Ball Bashing Bow in fear that he would be looking for revenge. Well, I looked away from one minute and next thing I know, everyone around the table is silent. I look up and Travis is aiming right at me. I run for the kitchen which really just made me a bigger target. I'm really dumb when it comes to these things so don't judge my abilities when it comes to survival. In a matter of seconds, the roles were reversed and the arrow was speeding at MY baby maker. In all the excitement all I could muster was "HE HIT MY TWAT!!"
Turns out, my whole family cringes at the word 'twat' ...kind like most people (myself included) don't like the word moist..ugh I shuttered just typing it.
So by now, both of our 'sensitive areas' had been bruised and what is supposed to be a toy for little kids, now has a warning label on it at our house- No aiming for private parts.


A couple days later, I went to the gym and was working hard. I was feeling a good workout for that day. I step onto the treadmill ready to power out 3 miles worth of running. When I got a text message...the conversation went like this...

So instead of 3 miles, I ran one, called it good and headed for the landshark.
Us siblings don't usually propose one on one time. We're a close family, but we don't usually just ask one to hang out. So I thought it was nice, and cool and he offered our family choice in beer so how could I pass it up?
So I get to his house and he starts complaining that he hasn't made it into my family famous blog. What my family doesn't realize, is that you need to do something exciting, say something funny, basically do something that strangers would want to read about. Even if it's embarrassing. My mom is usually top notch in the funny department, but most of the conversations we have end with "And this DOES NOT go in your blog, do you understand me?!"
But my mom is a funny lady, so this is her understated credit.
Back to Beer talks with Big Brother- We start talking about life and catching up about what we want our futures to look like with school and such and I started talking about my writing and how I really want to go somewhere with it while I wait for my nursing classes to start. He got very intriguing, and I'm telling you, if you are ever feeling like you're stuck, or you're not sure what to do with you're life or you're feeling like giving up, go have beer with my brother, Andrew. You'll get your shit together. So we make this big plan for me that I really am going to pursue some writing stuff. He says "Turn an I COULD have, into an I DID." That's an Andrew J original. So I'll make a career out of it, and I'll get my name out. I will start a scholarship fund for KFC employees that work there through their college years. You know, fast food employees aren't always there because it's their only option, and they are stuck there. I want to make a public service announcement right now, that sometimes that drive thru worker that you call stupid, and can't handle a real job, might be working there, as well as 3 other jobs to save up for medical school and will be a brain surgeon one day. So think about that.  

The scholarship would go to kids like that, because I know that feeling. I won't be a brain surgeon, but you get the picture. We make this big plan and he comes up with the title "Colonels to Generals." Clever eh? So look for it, coming a few years down the road. We discuss how I want to go to LA at some point and talk to movie directors and producers on how to get into the business with my focus being in writing. He said that if I have the confidence, and I believe in myself, then that's when I go out and get what I want. "Once you get your confidence, you get your balls" Another gem said by him. So it was great to hang out with my brother since I see a lot of similarities between the two of us not only looks wise, but personality wise. So there you made it into the effin blog Andrew! but for real, I didn't put it in just because he asked. It was really a cool night at the dining room table, surrounded by landsharks.

Sibling bonding struck again when I was getting through a long shift at work and My older sister, Allison texted me asking if I wanted to spend my day off in Boston celebrating Chinese New Year. Well what doesn't sound fun about that? we discuss taking the train which I assumed to be early, like leave the house by 8 early, but she proves me wrong being the ambitious one that she is with "Ok train leaves Portland at 5:30 in the morning, we'll get to Boston by 8." Well shit. I knew the 4 AM alarm would be tough, but the next 15 hours would be worth it. We took subways to a cute little bagel shop, the freedom trail, Harvard, and then to Chinatown. It was pretty cool seeing all the culture packed into the streets

And then we finished the trip with some drinks at a bar that only Allison could find.
It was a long day but it was nice to get out of Maine for a bit. Now Andrew and I might be similar, but Allison and I are very different which can make for a very interesting mix. As you can tell from the 5:30 train, opposing the 8 AM train, our travelling style is different. She said it best on the way to the train "You've never traveled with me have you....?" Allison is very 'let's get our charlie tickets and hop on the subway and see where we get'  I use the subways by myself in the summer when I travel to see a friend from school and PERSONALLY I'm very precise with my traveling...-this is what time the train arrives, this is the subway I take to this exact location, I catch this train here blah blah blah. Plus, Allison runs up stairs. EVERY stair case we reached. I felt like a 90 year old getting to the top of a stair case of a subway terminal 5 minutes after she already reached the top. So there is traveling, but then there is traveling with Allison. Totally different ball game. But still fun to say the least, and I'm really glad I went despite previous plans to sleep in and watch movies on my day off.

So this blog pretty much sums up that I love my family to pieces.  Again I can't really put it to words. I try not to get cheesy all over the posts, but getting texts or phonecalls from them asking to hangout makes me the happiest. *Travis also called me this week asking if I wanted to go with a Red Claws game but I had to work so that plan didn't go through but the thought was there!
Although now I wonder i they really want to hang out with me or if they just want to get into the blog...I'm onto you guys... Just kidding, can't wait to share more family moments in the future! If you have siblings, or cousins, or just family members that you've never really hung out one on one with, GO DO IT. NOW.


Behind the Scenes of the Blog: When I was talking to Andrew about writing, I was explaining how I write this blog. You may notice some typos, grammatical errors or whatnot from time to time. That's because I don't edit the blog when I'm done. My writing style is very different. I type what I'm saying in my head. Like..I type how I would talk if I was saying all of this to someone out loud and sometimes I get so excited for a post or story that I just type like a lunatic and laugh at my own things and I can't wait to get done with a post but it's not because I get bored while typing, it's because I can't wait for people to see it. I know some people specifically that read the blog and say they laugh and it makes me happy writing something and saying in my head 'Oh man, I can't wait to hear what Melissa says about this one!' and so on. So that's what goes into the writing!

Tune in next time for another episode of Life in the Middle!

Single as a Pringle yet Happy as a Clam

**Alert** This is not family/life in the middle related but one of those like 'Dear Abby (Brianna)' posts..no one wrote to me with the subject 'Dear Brianna' ...in fact, no one wrote to me at all...but that's how we're handling this situation. I'm going to throw this advice out there and if you read it and like it cool, if you read it and don't like it cool, love thy neighbor carry on I apologize I wasted a few minutes of your time for you to read this and not like it. BUT I read these things one Facebook, buzzfeed, twitter, instagram, NoOneGivesAShitagram. Valentine's Day is fast approaching and I'm seeing some people that are not handling it well. It is not against the law to not have a valentine on the big day. I also want to touch base on people that ARE in relationships that are getting into some habits that aren't always social media friendly...And then I'll get into my advice on how I'm handling being single this time of year. I have a little 'how to' guide on how to do my version of the single ladies dance.

1) If you instagram pictures of you and your boy/girlfriend, that's fine I'm sometimes a bitter single person but I'm not THAT bitter. I get that you have cute moments and you want to share them with the world. Do it. If you're happy, you should spread that happiness like it's nutella on white bread fresh out of the toaster with Spongebob playing in the background at 11 o'clock on a Saturday Morning.
             1a) If ALL of the pictures you post of you and your love buddy are make out sessions, then we have an issue. keep some of that private. Besides, if you're focusing too much on the angle of the camera shot, you're taking some focus off of why you're doing the tongue tango with your boo in the first place. If my significant other ever said "kiss me so I can post it online" I would stand up, go to the fridge and take all the beer, take all the rum if we had any and leave them. 'Pics or it didn't happen' does not apply to your love life so enjoy your time with the one you love. You don't need to share ALL of it.  Don't invite the general public into your relationship. Look at celebrity couples?
            1b) If all of your pictures you post about your boyfriend are of him playing his video games and captioned something like 'He's on his 12th hour of call of duty, so proud <3'  or 'He hasn't looked at me in 3 days but he's doing what he loves <3' or 'He's so cute when he gets angry while playing Halo <3' then #1, you need to stop posting them, and #2, you need to dump him...for real, moderate video games are fine but I have seen a few culprits of this. If you don't post it then I don't really care because at least you're keeping it your business. But you are showing the whole interweb how much your boyfriend ignores you and I'm judging your relationship skills for it. This isn't planet fitness, the internet is not judgement free.
           1c) Stop saying 'babe' and 'baby' to each other, or when referring to the other in a status or tweet. it makes your followers vomit. I GUESS once in a while is fine, but don't over do it.

This pretty much sums it up for people that are in relationships. Now, I love cute couples. I'm an official third wheel with most of my friends and I'm totally fine with it. I have no problem with 'always a bridesmaid never a bride.'
I'd like to move onto the single people. I'm going on my twenty-second year of being single so I have some experience. This is the basis of this post.

step 1- Be happy about who you are. If you love Harry Potter, love reading, are into sports, don't like dark chocolate, you're short, you look for humor in everything. You enjoy a night out with your friends but also enjoy nights in either with your friends or alone writing a blog and watching the Hunger Games. You drink enough to satisfy your thirst, but not like an alcoholic sailor, but get the occasional buzz. You drink mass amounts of coffee and you get a high when you go to the gym, then #1, you should be darn proud of all of that and #2- you're probably me....but the point here is look at all your little quirks and love them how you would want a boy/girlfriend to love them. Example, I take back roads. If I have the gas money, I take the long way to get to my destination. I love driving and jamming out and taking in the scenic Maine backgrounds. I get crap for it but "it's not about the destination, it's about the trip to the destination" If you have a quirk or habit that puts you in a good mood, don't change it to please someone else. Which brings us to...
Step 2- Don't do things out of impressing someone. Only tell them you share the same interest if you REALLY DO share the same interest. I saw a tweet yesterday before the superbowl:

So dress to impress, but Only if it's what YOU believe in too. If you fake like sports, it is obvious. Sports fans can tell who is real and who is fake. So if you hate sports, then hate sports. There is probab;y something really great about you making sports knowledge unnecessary. Ask any girl. They didn't pick their boyfriend up because he lied and said something like  "I LOVE girlcode, I watch it every day!"

Step 3- Watch Girlcode. If you don't get any advice from it, then watch it for entertainment. It's fantastic.

      3a) Watch Chelsey Lately.

Step 4- Do not post how desperate you are. I myself post how SINGLE I am..like when I say things like watching TV with my dog, or having a warm cuddly night with my heating pad watching ENews, and stuff but Do not look as thirsty as a fish in a desert. Don't say things like "I really need a cuddle buddy :(" Good husbands don't come from liking a facebook status that was posted after a few glasses of wine. Don't post a bunch of edited and strongly filtered selfies saying #nofilter becasuse if you catch a cuddle buddy thanks to that post, and then you wake up next to each other and you look like you've been attacked by tracker jackers, Cuddle buddy applicant #3 is going to know you had a filter on that. Same goes for 'pass or rate, or truth is or wait, not..it's pass or date? something like that. You don't want to tell your kids "Well I liked dad's status back in 2013, and he posted on my wall 15 minutes later 'Date ;)' Unless you'd be into that. It doesn't matter how you met someone as long as you're truly happy, and deeply in love. I'm just saying, We are a generation that's slipping away from human contact, and we hide behind our keyboards.
Sidenote- Don't say anything to someone through a text, or facebook message that you can't say to them face to face. That's just a quality to hold onto as we slip deeper and deeper into a hashtag revolution,

Step 5- Enjoy the single life. Have celebrity crushes, really discover who you are. If you don't like who you are when you're single, you're not going to like yourself when you're in a relationship. It's all about confidence and again, liking your quirks. Enjoy your alone time before you find that special person. Because next thing you know you're with them all the time, then you get married, then you have kids and you will miss those days of sitting in your room watching mean girls and spending hours on pinterest. Oh and enjoy Man Crush Mondays on instagram!

Step 6- Stems from a recent post I had the other day that I feel pretty strongly about. Don't be high maintenance. 

I think this wraps up most of my thoughts. Don't be desperate, don't be fake, and love yourself. You, whoever you are, are a really cool person. Everyone out there likes at least one thing about you. Example, someone might hate that I take back roads and the long way when we're driving somewhere, but they appreciate my baseball passion. So if you're single on Valentines day don't get down in the dumps. You will survive. Maybe avoid instagram and facebook and twitter so You don't see all the lovey dovey posts. Wait it out 24 hours and then hit up wal mart and get all the discounted candy you want. Or buy yourself a teddy bear. For all of you single people, Consider this picture to be dedicated from me to you: 

I also want to share one of my favorite buzzfeed lists hosted my 3 of my favorite ladies, so take some time to read, and embrace these messages
http://www.buzzfeed.com/przshly07/what-its-like-to-be-single-as-told-by-jennifer-la-8ttl

I hope this helps some of you, maybe you don't agree with any of it, that's fine. I'm not here to instigate and disagreements. But we all know that one person that doesn't know how to be single. So enjoy your life whether you're happy in a relationship, single or in a flirtationship because those are fun too!

you can tweet me at Briannajohns2, you can email any questions, comments or concerns and hey, I kind of like this advice column thing so I might keep it up if anyone trusts me with handling their life concerns. brianna.johnston37@gmail.com

Find something to smile about today and everyday! 

Excitingly Medicore

Life in the middle is excitingly mediocre as ever. I really think my family is cut out for a reality TV show. Why do they make a bunch of episodes about rich families? The Kardashians? why. that shit isn't interesting. Everything they do is old news. The Bruce and Kris divorce marks the FIFTH in the immediate family. Granted my math is correct. My family is happy, temperamental, mental, hectic, laid back, ridiculous, fantastic, and all over the place. This new show, #rich kids of Beverly Hills. what. the. actual, f***. Number 1, it has a hashtag at the beginning of the title. That is what our generation has come to. If it doesn't have a hashtag before its name, it doesn't exist. 

Their voices make me want to go all Van Gough on my ear. But that's enough on that subject, I was merely trying to get the point across that my family would make for great reality TV. 

Let's start off this Johnston update from the middle child perspective with a round of applause for the middle school production of Aladdin. The Johnston's own child #6 (that's number 6, not hashtag 6) She was part of the ensemble. She danced and sang with the rest and they all looked absolutely fantastic. Everyone goes through an awkward stage in middle school. And if you claim that you didn't, I don't trust you. These kids though....They were fantastic. 

In other news, it's cold outside. In case you didn't know that already. What's more annoying though? people complaining about the cold, or people freaking a shit about global warming. "It's happening, it's not happening, we're to blame, blah blah blah it's Obama's fault." Shut. the F. up. Yeah we can go green but unless you're the green giant, calm your tits, or your junk or however you want to say the phrase, and get over it until June. Embrace the extra cuddles you get from your loved one, or if you're single like myself, cuddle with your dog and sleep with a heating pad. And also, find away to laugh about it. 

Let's shift gears to parenting. My parents are great. Hands down. They are the cliche, prime example of those parents you see on sitcoms. (Jennifer Lawrence tid bit time) look at the Bill Engvall show where America's sweet heart started her career. Most of the time, her character looked at her parents like this. 

Like today for example. My mom and I have been taking my car on shopping trips because the heat isn't working in our classic family mini van. It has a remote for unlocking the doors. I explain to my mom to press the unlock button twice. She examines the remote and pushes what she thinks is the correct button..Well that button was the alarm button...but hey! we made it in the car eventually. Steve's turn! I was talking to my parents about twitter and how weird some of things people post are and my dad, who works with computers as a living, but isn't quite caught up with the lingo, and social media hype. responds with "You have to be careful what you post on that tweeter website..." ..yeah will do dad. Oh well. It's still better than the time he asked what twerking was...........................................J-Law, take it away.....

Chandler, your thoughts?

I kind of wish Jimmy Fallon did a segment titled "Twerking with Parents" where parents try to understand twerking, or their faces when their kids explain it. Send in your home videos and America will vote for the best awkward parent moment.

My mom, like most moms is my biggest fan. I might never get to write comedy movies, or have a great book, or work with Jennifer Lawrence or Leonardo DiCaprio despite all of that being my ultimate dream. BUT my mom loves my work and that's all that matters. I say what comes to my head and sometimes it leads to bursts of laughter from mom in public. So we're in target today and I went into the bathroom. Public bathrooms by the way, have magic mirrors. they show EVERY flaw on your face. I'm too lazy to wear make up every day. sorry, not sorry. I'm confident enough with my face that I don't always need to cover everything just to run a few errands. Confidence is sexy ladies. And it's cheaper... anyways, so I noticed that I'm due for a spa day per say...I need some facial peach fuzz removed. I don't even care that I'm putting this on the interweb. You can say it's gross and whatnot but on the today show, Brooke Shields even said she maintains it too. ANYWAYS. The way I described it to my mom is that I feel like my sub-nasal region is starting to look like a Mexican pornstar's crustache. No need to worry though fellas. Every girl gets it. The lighting in Target just made mine prominent enough for me to realize that I probably shouldn't be allowed any playgrounds or little kids for that matter until I get on that.........Sometimes I wonder why I'm single and then I remember that I share things like this.....

We move on to Wal Mart. First off. If your kids are misbehaved. Don't bring them to wal mart. Second, if you feed your kids junk, and then take them shopping. don't be surprised that they are mis behaving! Your cart is filled with enough sugar filled substances to kill an oompa loompa and your kids are bouncing off the walls and you wonder why? I'm not even going to talk about the way people dress at wal mart, there is a whole website for that.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

We were looking for things for Child #7's birthday which is on Sunday. We had passed a few pinatas throughout the day, and my mom was debating on getting one with each one we passed along our adventure. "How much is that on?" thinks about, and then moves on with a 'maybe' face on. then I found this adorable photobooth kit. it had Big smiley face masks, and glasses, and goofy things to put on for like an old school photo booth. "Awwwh look we could get a photo booth for the party"

To this, my mom looks utterly weirded out. "Why?" she says looking at it like it's the dullest thing on the planet. Naturally I responded in Brianna Fashion
"You think that's weird and annoying but you want to get them something to beat the shit out of and watch candy fall out its ass?"

I though mom was going to pee her pants.
*Sidenote: if reading any of this DID make you pee your pants...

This was a short write up but hey I'm doing the best I can. Chandler's birthday AND the superbowl are on Sunday so I'm sure I will have some pictures and stories to share. stay tuned for more Johnston excitement from the middle child view point, and be sure to follow me on 'tweeter' Briannajohns2 and instagram bjohnston2 and be sure to go back and read the 'Pursuit of Happiness' blog post from a couple weeks ago if the winter blues is still getting you. Stay happy, stay healthy! 

Pursuit of Happiness

It has come to my attention (via facebook, going to wal mart, working in customer service, etc.) that the post holiday depression is really hitting a lot of people. Maybe a few of you will read this, not be effected, maybe some of you aren't reading this and you're missing out. But, sometimes I know that people just need a good laugh or motivational booster to push through the sadness you might be feeling. It's January, it's cold and it's usually a gloomy foggy, dark cloudy day. Such as today...I have some tips, some thoughts, and some random things that hopefully one of them is bound to make someone out there smile.
My goal is to make people happy. An achievement I like to make is making people smile. And my ultimate passion is making people laugh. It's the basis behind my writing, and the reason for if my nursing career doesn't work out I want to be out there making people laugh. What are you goals? do you have any? do you make baby steps? If you're sad, set a goal to be happier. the baby step: to smile every. single. day. I don't mean like "start every day with a smile" just because a quote on a piece of canvas at Target said it. I mean look for things that make you smile. A song, a movie you've seen a million times, talking to someone, or simply going outside. Go on pinterest and go to the humor section. I do this daily. Granted I spend WAY too much time on pinterest, I think it's totally ok because it makes me laugh out loud. If you need some help, check out these faces of Jennifer Lawrence. It's apparent that she's my favorite but hey at least I'm not addicted to crack.
http://pandawhale.com/post/6493/jennifer-lawrence-reaction-gifs

And another  happy picture:

And this is because I have to say this, but appreciate what you have. If you have 4 working limbs, don't have cancer, have never lost a loved one, live in a warm home, with food, working appliances and good company then I guarantee you can get through any 'depression' you're feeling because there are people that go through one or more of those things and they are incredibly happy. Watch Silver Linings Playbook. Better yet READ Silver Linings Playbook. people that say the 'love the movie' but haven't read the book yet irritate me. I have the movie and book but here's the catch, if you want to borrow the movie, you MUST first read the book. that's my policy. You'll see real sadness from a man that finds the 'silver lining' after he completely hit rock bottom.

I myself thought I hit rock bottom. I live in my parents basement, I work in fast food, I'm broke, I've been single my whole life and I haven't found my 'niche' in life. but that's fucking. OK. because I love my family, I love my co workers, my room is still my own space like an apartment but it's smaller and my parents make me dinner, and I love myself that being single doesn't bother me.
S
ide tip- You don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend to make you happy. Don't post on facebook and twitter how single you are, because it translates into how desperate you are. Desperation REEKS of unhappiness. You cut that out and you love yourself and you learn to be happy alone. It will make you a better person, leading you to enter a relationship in the right ways, and you will be a fantastic significant other because you didn't force anything, and you'll be truly honestly happy. trust me. Stop whining about not finding anyone, and WINE the night away with a tall glass of "I'm awesome." Yeah YOU

What else makes you happy? well me personally, I color. I'm 21 years old and I have a dinosaur coloring book and and the crayola ultimate crayon collection which contains 192 crayons, and another box of crayola's finest with 120 crayons. and I'm proud of every page I color. They're bright, and it's a kids coloring book so most of the dinosaurs have friendly faces. However, being 21 means I can have a beer while I color. When I'm not closing at work, this is my favorite thing to do. Color with a beer. Seriously, try it.

What else works? scientifically, working out does. Save up for some nice work out shoes, and get a membership. Working out releases endorphins the natural happy drug. You heard it here first! you don't always need weed to feel good. I'm not dissing weed PS, I'm just saying I'm sick of people being so dependent on it. And that's all I'm saying there. But really go to the gym, or for a run or walk or do some crunches and planks at home. And Trust me, (although it is not scientifically proven) it is SO MUCH better working out in the morning. As the sun is rising. It adds an effect of happiness that the sun gives and you get it out of the way and you're more awake throughout the day, which can help with crankiness. 

Kind of along the lines of working out, if you think you're fat, stop. dwelling. on. it. It's bad for your mood, your self esteem, and everyone you say "I'm fat" to. I don't believe in diets at all. But I do believe in a healthy lifestyle which ALWAYS includes at lease some junk food. I swear a colorfully decorated cake, colors you on the inside making you happy. With that said, EAT. THE. F***ING CAKE. If you need inspiration, this is me somewhat recently.. 

If you're upset because of what other people say about your body or looks...

So basically.....

If you live near me and need a workout buddy, seriously reach out to me. I have a membership and if I'm not working, I'd love to go with anyone. Especially if you need the motivation. You got me. 

Another tip! this one confuses people but hear me out...

Have. Bad. Days. If you're having a bad day, it can last no longer than 24 hours. "24 hours sounds like a long time" well you know what Mr. Skeptic? it's a while hour shorter than 25 hours long. (side tip- look at the bright side) Anyways, bad days happen. You can't stop them. Your friends will get mad at you, you'll fight with your siblings, your boss will get mad at you, you will mess up, it will rain, it will pour, it will be cold, your car will break down, you will run out of money, you will get lonely, you will get hurt (emotionally and physically), you will fail a test, you will stub your toe, you will cry.  It happens, and the way I see it, it makes good days seem even greater. Think of the worst day of your life. If you're like me and can't think of one specific day, then you're doing alright. I've thought of some bad times, but nothing that ruined my life. I've lost loved ones and I remember those days of getting the news, but with support you move on. With laughter and smiling you get through it. So have bad days. Forget your lunch and your coffee at home. You will survive, and you will be stronger. 

If you're still stumped and unhappy. It's ok. Because now you know that there is a blogger somewhere that genuinely hopes you smile from some piece of this, and you gain some insight. If not, then I assume you're missing all 4 limbs, blind, have no friends or family left and have never smelled bacon or eaten a cupcake. But no seriously, I hope you find what you're looking for because it's out there. I promise you, you will find a hobby, a job, a favorite movie, a favorite actor, a favorite food, and a friend. 

Set goals and don't get disappointed if you don't reach it right away. I'd love to write screen plays and maybe co direct a movie with Jennifer Lawrence but I know that's not going to happen tomorrow and it might not happen ever, but believing that it will happen sometime in the future helps with the motivation. Maybe I will never make it to Hollywood but I have fun writing anyways. 

Now you have to smile about this....The weekend is almost here! (yes I know it's Thursday) But I still hope you have a happy Friday! 

Back to Blogging

It sure has been awhile since my last post, but now that I have the time, and like all real humans I avoid the gym with every excuse I get. So hopefully I get some good feedback and you people enjoy these web posts enough that I can say "Well I'd like to go to the gym, but I need to keep my fans happy" It might be more like "Well I'd like to go to the gym but sitting in a comfy chair with sweatpants and slippers sipping coffee while pinning and watching youtube videos" might be more likely. People that are obsessed with working out freak me out. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the after effects. Like: it makes you happier, healthier, not so lazy the rest of the day, just all around euphoric feeling but come. on. It's smelly, it hurts, and if you wear a hat while you're doing it, you automatically scream "I'm a tool!" (PG-13 version): "I'm a total douchebag!" And yes, I'm still talking about going to the gym....although that description can fit for other extracurricular activities. (PG-13 version): sex.
I was on my way to the gym when I realized I was out of gas and so came back home. "Why not just stop and get gas on the way?" I heard you just ask that in your head while reading this. Well because I don't have money until I get paid tomorrow, and until Chegg gives back my money for keeping their textbooks longer than allowed. But I don't have gas to get to the UPS store, because I don't have money because chegg took my money, until I give them their books back, but I can't give their books back because I don't have gas to get to the UPS store....you see the cycle. I'm looking for my big break in hollywood for writing and then I'll finally have money. BUT if I get my big break, then the 3.5 years I've spent in school would have been a waste, and therefore the money I spent on the textbooks and tuition a waste? life is weird. But for now I'm broke and I'm ok with it.
You know that show '2 broke girls?' why is that a show? Those 2 broke girls recently hosted the People's choice awards and are clearly raking in the big bucks. I think I'm going to take over the show and make it a reality series about me and my sister living in my parents basement. It would follow us around our house. Both in our early 20s, watching the Golden Globes in our parents' kitchen, blogging, watch friends late at night. Because God forbid we get boyfriends or our own places to live. All of this happens by the way while we fight about the bathroom counter's cleanliness (as we share it) PS-stop unplugging my toothbrush, and about maybe having the TV too loud and the other one can't sleep. All the perks of sharing a basement. It's all in good fun, we have our laughs between the typical sister bickering. And watching the Globes with her, (and my other sister) was actually pretty fun. Moral of the story of the REAL 2 Broke Girls- if you're fighting with your sister, just wait it out till the next laugh, and don't stay mad about whatever you're fighting about. (time to get cheesy, sorry not sorry). My sisters and mom are my best friends, My favorite memories will always be family time around the kitchen table and in the midst of bickering, it's pretty refreshing to think of that. So here is my advice, if you find yourself really not getting along with a sibling, wait it out, and think of a bigger picture.
So while I'm broke I'm continuing my work at KFC/Taco Bell. Realistically, it's your typical fast food job. But I oddly enjoy showing up to work when I like the people I work with. I can't wait to move on to bigger and better things, but when I look at it I could have it way worse. I recently won employee of the month and a special pin for doing well on what's kind of like a quiz when the food safety inspector shows up. I get excited for the little things. You have to in an average joe life like this. In my opinion, this life, and getting excited about the little things is WAY better than a big, rich fancy life style. Incase you couldn't tell by my gym rant. Now work isn't always a walk in the park no matter who is working. Society stress me out. I leave work sore, cranky, and exhausted. When people ask me my plans after my work shift, my response can be summed up perfectly right here: 

Ask my coworkers, I get manic. Sometimes in a good way, someones a bad way, depending on my coffee level, all of which gets balanced after work, if you can infer with the help of J Law. Don't worry, I'm not as much as a raging alcoholic as I seem...I have to put the disclaimer on here incase anyone gets as intense and angry as Taylor Swift fans when Tina Fey does her job....I do like Taylor Swift, but these two together. Come on, I would be honored to be dissed by them

Look at this picture- "This is our impression of Brianna Johnston after work because the fast food industry is just sooo difficult..poor me. Yeah well there's a special place in hell for you too Brianna. It's called the 'suck it up pub' 

The whole incident just makes me happier that this happened. 

"I was going to push you down the stairs.." -Jennifer Lawrence. 

'Nah, it's cool that she joked about pushing her down a flight of stairs live on the red carpet, but the fact that Tina Fey merely uttered some words as part of a skit all in good fun, yeah we're going to have to go to twitter and bash those two millionaires that don't care about our opinion anyways." -Taylor Swift fan logic. 

But really I do like Taylor Swift, it's her hardcore fans that I'm just like stahp, and go hang out with Justin Bieber fans, and only socialize with each other. 

Sooo those are my celebrity feelings this week.... 

I can't wait until I write a screenplay that gets me to these award shows. It really is a dream of mine. I love creative writing and making people laugh. Fashion though? yeahh I'll be wearing my slippers and sweat pants. But I'll wear my nicest addidas. 

In other Johnston family news, I've experienced some one liners from family members lately that basically sum up our family. As you may know we have 7 kids, a couple significant others and some extra kids from significant others and previous marriages. there are currently 5 of the 7 Johnston kids living under the roof of headquarters of chaos right now so I please ask that you never enter our laundry room. You will get lost and die. Don't believe us? Ask Melissa. Brother's girlfriend, one of my favorite pals to hang our with. She wins 'best all around' if the family were to ever host an award show. She said quote "I will do anything for your family EXCEPT towels. I could never do towels in this house" pure. genius. It's hysterically true. & of us in this house. And I'm proud to announce that we ALL shower. Yup. it might seem like we're in the threshold of hell sometimes, BUT we have our shit together just enough that we all shower regularly. Putting all this together I would just like to shout out that my mother is a saint. And my father a brave brave soul for all the times that he helps out and puts his best effort. Sometimes his towel effort includes, "Hey, can you carry this stack of towels up to the bathroom cabinet?" Or he does it himself. And sometimes his effort goes all the way and  puts his best "Mr. Mom" impression on. He gets a HUGE award though for this story: I love the way my mom tells it so if you have the privilege of seeing her, ask her. But awhile back my mom was very sick and in the hospital for quite a few weeks. My dad really did a fantastic job being by her side, and keeping us kids in line all the while. My mom says she was most impressed with his laundry skills. He did it all while she was on her, what she calls "Timothy Leary" vacation (If you're under the age of 40- yeah I don't get it either) but anyways, the socks. my dad said "I did it all except match the socks..." At this time, My brother was still living at home so you take 6 kids, and a parent, multiply 2 socks in a pair, and then multiply however many socks we all have. But the brave man survived the laundry of the Johnstons. 

Speaking of how many kids we have, the other night at dinner, my sister (co-star of the new reality 2 broke girls) was explaining the downsides of birth control as there was a story about it on the news, To which my mom replied "That's why I don't take birth control" There were 5 out of 7  of her children around the dinner table....7. As she walked away, The elder sister says "Yeah, it shows that you don't use birth control..." 

I'm telling you big families are where it's at. Sometimes I wish I was in a smaller family but then I realize, non of those laughs would have happened. I wouldn't be who I am today. However I wouldn't be able to tolerate noise as much as I can now. I probably wouldn't be a coffee addict and I probably wouldn't be so well rounded and open minded. 

I'm almost positive I'm forgetting something to write, but since I'll be posting back on a regular schedule, I'll catch it next time. Feel free to share, leave feedback, follow me on twitter, Briannajohns2. instagram Bjohnston2, and all that good stuff. You know because I'm so famous and there are a lot of hardcore followers that are going to hit me up on twitter tonight. But you wait, I do have one motivation for going to the gym and it's that I want to look good in my dress for the Oscar's next year. 

Finals week, hunger games, random tidbits, and Hercules.....HUNKules

It's baaaaaaaaaack.
School is winding down and so the blog is on its way back!!
This post is dedicated to everyone enduring finals week out there. Whether you are a student, parent of a student, room mate of a student, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss, co worker of a student, expect to have a shitty next couple of weeks!

So for some, finals week means practicums. a 100 question test over the whole semester.  For some, you (simply) need to write an essay. For some, you have to make a presentation. Or maybe your professor is an asshole and makes you do more than one of these options... 

That being said, there will be a lot of all nighters out there, so get these ready 

As we embark on this trip, you ever notice how professors just stand there perky as can be, knowing that you're about to die, or get crushed under the pressure of their little game and you just stand there like-

 
But you've known about this final most of the semester, right? well yeah, I mean I should have studied more throughout the semester but some things just take priority,

*I could always use more lives by the way...* 

Don't rule anything out now, anything is possible. you never know, you might walk out of your final feeling like: 

But of course, the expected result is more like...

In any event, happy finals week and may the scale be ever in your favor. 

And when they are over, let's celebrate and kick back with some drinks

And Abbi Brockelbank

So you may have noticed a trend here. yeah. catching fire came out and has been #1 two weeks in a row, (another factor in my lack of studying). In fact I've been as they say "geeking out" over this movie. I have no shame, but then someone liked one of my pictures on instagram and I realized that I am not NEARLY as dedicated a fan as some people.... 

Incase the font is too small, this users name is "katnisschristmastree" what does that even mean? whoever it is, takes fangirl/christmas lover to a whole new level. As assumed, it's all katniss everdeen instagramed photos. I mean granted I'm sitting here writing a blog with a hunger games based theme but HOW...HOW is your life so boring that you come up with that kind of instagram page? This girl will not be owning her finals...

So the last time I was this caught up in a movie it was Pitch Perfect. 

Aca-awesome right? Anna Kendrick, from Portland, fantastic in her role, looked up some of her other movies. She's great! And now with recent events, Jennifer Lawrence has taken over my woman crush wednesday. both are flawless, both know how to handle hollywood. They're both like my best friends. Welll you want to know what sucks? when you're two best friends hate each other...

I stumbled across this picture the other day and I just hope it's not true...how else will I have them both at my Gatsby party? (Invites also include Channing Tatum, Rebel Wilson, Josh Hutcherson, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Anniston and so on) 

So that's my Finals week/hunger games/ Hollywood news mashup. 

I hope to write more about "life in the middle" soon, but I think my fellow college students really needed to see that we're all in the same boat this week. So study hard, or don't because we all know you're on twitter and tumbler and reading this instead of studying. But let's do our best and I will keep up with regular writings soon. I posted this to the FB feed last night, but I'm going to let Hercules close this post out with a motivational pep talk/song for all of us getting another step closer to our degrees!